I've revealed it. ~ Not that anyone who knows me personally doesn't already know about the torturous program in which I'm enrolled. ~ Yes, I'm in IB. ~
Moving right along, I've recently developed a theory on the International Baccalaureate program. (Incredible, I didn't even have to check the spelling of that.) ~ As any IB student knows, the homework load dropped upon our fragile young shoulders is substantial. And by substantial, I mean HUGE. ~ Now that I'm "officially" in IB, I have come to terms with this reality within my first week of school. ~
Have the rest of you IB children not realized how completely over-compulsive, paranoid and unstable the character of IB is? ~ Uncertainties must be expressed in the sciences to express the sad fact that we humans are not perfect. ~ It seems as if Group IV is an opportunity for us poor lifeless kids to have a social life. ~ In literature, there has not been a single book or play in which someone has not had a symbolic death. ~ The study of history is strangely concentrated on genocide, over-exploitation, and slavery. ~ In math, one can only rely on the trusty TI-84 as we take the plunge into paradoxes and the possibility of a non-existent infinity. ~ And remember, failing is all right, because it'll still be above the class average. ~
So why does IB put us through this misery? ~ Here comes the theory. Yes, I just made you read an entire prologue to my theory, my thesis. ~ Which is the following: IB cruelly forces us to undergo hours upon sleepless hours of reading, analyzing, writing, rewriting, editing, re-editing, then re-re-editing, to push us to our deepest, darkest, most morbid limits. ~ And upon reaching that extreme, we release our true inner potential to think. ~ Indeed, all the great works of old sum up as being revelations of the dark side of human nature, only attainable by stretching one paper-thin with exhaustion, bad news and sheer despair. ~ Sounds eerily like IB, doesn't it? ~
So as we all board this train that will carry us to IB hell, praying to the fickle IB gods for salvation, let's take comfort in this simple fact: anything that life throws our way will be nothing compared to the horrors we will have studied and experienced on our International Baccalaureate journey. ~
