Memory

"As far as I can remember..." ~

"Way back then..." ~

"Remember when...?" ~

All very typical phrases used today. ~ We live in the past as much as the present, and sometimes even more so. ~ Do you ever think back to when you were younger and smile at your own innocent naivety? ~ Or do you ever yearn to be "back in the day," when things were simpler, clearer, easier? ~ I certainly do. It's as if time if only bogging me down, turning its endless wheel over and over until life becomes a dreaded monotony. ~

Yes, yes, there is a word for this symptom: boredom. ~ A luxury when one is busy, true, but a curse when it descends like an evil cloud of doom. ~

But really... What makes us such easy prey for the past? ~ Why does it have such a powerful grip on all of us? ~

I believe the answer might lie in the future. ~ (Gosh, prophetic much?) ~ In essence, the present is the future of the past. ~ We often do not realize that the bright new future we were so looking forward to when we were younger is happening... right now. ~ All that planning, all those years when we thought, "Everything will be better in the future!" ~ That's today. This moment. Right now. ~ And yet we do not have that feeling of awe anymore. ~ Now that we are older, "wiser" and the future versions of our past selves, we once again have a new future to look forward to. ~ Whether it be tomorrow, next week, or in five years' time, we always think that there will be something better waiting for us. ~ And while this is true to some extent, we must remember that we ourselves are the ones that will determine our future. ~ Think of where you are right now. ~ How did you get here? ~ The answer is simple: By what you did, what happened to you and how you responded, by your past. ~ Now think to the future. ~ Where do you want to be? ~ Are you headed the right way to get there? ~

Personally, it's hard to tell. ~ After all, how many of us are psychics? ~ Not me, that's for sure. ~ So the answer is yet again to simply plow on. ~ But does that not defeat the whole purpose of "constructing your own future?" ~ Oh dear, this appears to be a vicious cycle. ~ Now, how to break it? ~

I believe that a plan is in order. ~ Have not many countries followed successful Five Year Plans? ~ Look at the disastrous American economy. ~ Wouldn't a Plan have maybe prevented or at least alleviated the damage done? ~ If you have a goal, and a way to reach it, and do not veer from your path, then naturally your chances of reaching that goal increase. ~ Realistic, carefully thought-out and, this being very crucial, flexible Plans are the true route to success. ~

Why flexible? ~ Well, think back to the failed Schlieffen plan. ~ It was too precise, too dependant on a smooth carry-out. ~ Ultimately, it failed because of this. ~ Nothing ever goes exactly the way we believe or hope it will, so why force it? ~ Leave wiggle room, but still make a detailed plan. ~ Balance, in the end, is key. ~

Special thanks to AB for tolerating my writer's block self, and the extensive conversation that ensued which has helped to improve this post. ~ I have great friends, truly. ~

Betrayal

Betrayal is a mockery of trust. ~ It takes up the feeling of loyalty, which is so hard to come by in this God-forsaken world, and just tears it up, stomps all over it. ~

Betrayal is not just hurting someone. It's hurting someone you know, someone who loves you and whom you trusted. ~

Betrayal is a cold-hearted beast with the face of an angel. It creeps up on you when you least expect it, and then, when it's too late, you know you're a goner. ~ You've been hurt by someone on the inside. ~

Taking advantage of a stranger is one thing. It'd be human - after all, we're all still specimens of Darwinism, i.e. survival of the fittest. ~

But when you betray someone - that's just inhuman. Breaking previously forged bonds, shaming respect and innocence, shredding integrity. ~ No wonder betrayal was a crime worthy of hanging back in the day. ~ That feeling of being stabbed in the back by a loved one leaves bitter hate in one's soul. ~ The sweeter the love, the darker the hate. ~

Betrayal cannot be overlooked lightly. ~ Forgiveness is so much harder to bear than hate. Why not nurture the need for revenge, that all-consuming yet oh-so-satisfying hellish flame within every human soul? ~

For all of us are just one betrayal away from the dark side. ~ Betrayal is the Sarajevo assassination of our otherwise peaceful lives, the spark that can set off a World War of catastrophic consequences. ~

Oh, woe. ~

And that is why it hurts to love. When you fall for someone, betrayal will undoubtedly be starring in the near future. ~ We humans are ruled by our emotions, and love is as dangerous as hate, for love is but a bittersweet prologue to betrayal. ~ It sets a pastoral scene for the brewing storm, the twister ready to engulf your heart at any minute. ~

So I shall guard my heart. ~ Love with caution, or not at all. ~