Balance

A few months back, when teaching us the Nervous System Unit in Biology, my teacher informed us, as a side note, that we actually have six senses. ~ Balance, the often-missed sixth sense. ~

Intrigued, I promised myself to write a post. ~ Now, nearly half a year later, I am fulfilling that self-promise. ~

Balance is actually sensed through the ear. Semicircular canals as well as the utricle and saccule help us determine dynamic and static equilibrium. ~ These send messages to our cerebellum, which coordinates our movements. ~ Not surprising, then, that when we're on dizzying roller coaster rides, our head begins to hurt, complaining to us about the atrocious environment our body is being subjected to. ~

But on a higher level, balance is also a sense which keeps us centered. ~ "Extremes [...] meet. For the good reason that they were made to meet." (Mustapha Mond, from Brave New World.) ~ Without balance, we would always be at an extreme, straining upwards, downwards, sideways. How can we live that way? ~ Therefore, finding balance is key. Though it might sound cliché, balance is the essential component of any healthy lifestyle. ~

Balance is also, in a way, acceptance. Accepting you might have to give up the fight for extremes, the competition. Accepting peace. ~ Balance does not mean you give up; it merely means you find where you're most comfortable, most at ease, and keeping that place with you in whatever you endeavour. ~

Finally, balance can bring contentment. ~ Not necessarily happiness - that is an emotion which is usually felt at extremes. Though happiness is stronger and more fulfilling, it is also non-lasting. ~ On the other hand, contentment is the less grand version of happiness, the emotion we often under-appreciate. ~ Contentment is the more sweet-smiled, gentle sister of happiness. It also sticks around longer, soothing your body, like honey, rather than bringing instant gratification, like candy. ~

So look for the less glamorous balance today. ~ Listen to some soft music, sip some of your favorite hot beverage, and study for finals. ~ There's no need to scope out an extreme, when balance is right around the corner. ~

The Ripple Effect - A Journey of Sin, Part Fifteen (End)

As a special touch for the last bit of our story, Ankur and I decided to both post Part Fifteen. It's been a long ride, and though there were tough patches, I have to admit that it was an eye-opening experience to create this story. The planning, the writing, the (endless) editing, the late nights... They all paid off. I'm glad to have embarked on the journey with Anne, and we sincerely hope that you like the ending. ~
Don't forget to read Parts One, Three, Five, Seven, Nine, Eleven and Thirteen at The Devil's Advocate if you haven't done so already! ~

Part Fifteen

The carriage ride back to the manor was filled with a deathly silence as I thought about the events that had transpired in the marketplace; the strength of the woman who tried to defend her baby, her valiant attempt to save her precious bundle, and her horrible death. I felt guilt rise up inside of me once again as I thought of how much harder I should have fought, how much harder I should have struggled against the tyranny of Lucifer to protect my child.
We arrived at the manor just as the sun was setting. Wordlessly, I began to unpack and carry in the bags, while Lucifer went to greet his parents. As I made trips to and from the carriage, I saw him return, retiring to the garden that he knew so well. Anger burned in me. How could he act so normal?
As I walked into the kitchen with the last of the bags, a glint caught my eye. The rays of the setting sun were reflected off of a sharp knife used by the head cook to butcher animals. I paused. How sharp the knife was; how vulnerable flesh would be to it... and I realized, with a sudden clarity, what I had to do.
I glanced around. The kitchen was empty. No one would notice. I reached for the blade, then hesitated. Could I really do this? My hand shook.
Then I remembered the cries of my baby as he had been torn away from me, and my resolve hardened. I grabbed the knife and hid it behind me, slowly advancing to the garden.
"Lucifer!" My voice was steady, clear with determination. "I've let this go on for long enough." I stepped forward, not caring that someone might overhear me. In fact, I hoped that someone would hear me.
"I know about your night-time escapes to the garden, the women you defile, the things you do. And what you did to me." My voice cracked a bit, but I swallowed, ploughing on. "I was naive to think you'd stop at that. I see how innocent I've been. That woman at the market - she taught me to defend my love with all my heart, to never give up! You'll regret the day you ever parted a child from its mother."
I stood there, my breathing coming in heavy lungfuls. It felt good to let it all out at last. Adrenaline pumped through my veins. I had never felt more alive.
I heard Lucifer laugh, perhaps not believing that I would follow through with my claim. His cocky expression changed, however, when I revealed the knife gripped in my right hand. There was fear in his eyes now. I felt satisfaction course through me. I had caused that fear.
“Money. I’ll give you as much as you need. You’ll never have to work again!” His tone was tinged with desperation. My lips curved into a smile, but it never reached my eyes.
I worked up a gob of spit and threw it in his face. He looked shocked. Little did he know that all the money in the world could not save him now. The life of my child was worth more than anything he could offer. I raised the knife, ready to plunge it into his bare throat.
A dark light flickered in his eyes as he realized I could not be bought, that this was the end. His eyes grew blacker under the setting sun, and suddenly I saw a glint of murderous desire enter those fizzing green eyes. My hand flashed down, striking hard and true as I saw the blood begin to spurt, coating my hand with a warm, dark glow as the sun shone off the deep red liquid. For a moment, my mother's face flashed in front of my eyes. Then, there was just Lucifer, staring up at me with wide eyes.
My hands trembled as I withdrew the knife from Lucifer’s bloody neck. I stared at the gaping wound in his skin, so grotesque and so vivid against the deathly white of the rest of his body. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw his fingers move. His glare intensified for just a moment as he lifted his hands to the knife, tearing it from my grasp. I looked on in horror as he raised it above his head.
I turned to run, but a cold hand grasped my neck. I turned, ready to fight for my life. I reached for his throat, wrapping my hands around it, when I felt my skin being separated by a cold, hard metal.
A searing pain flashed through my body. I looked down to see the handle of a knife growing from my throat. Lucifer was falling, falling onto a mulberry bush. As I stood there, wavering, I felt the blood flow in rivulets from my throat. I knew that I was dying, and that nothing could save me now.
I heard footsteps in the underbrush. It was the stable boy, his face ashen with horror. I smiled weakly at him.
"Anne!" He fell to his knees next to me.
"You're here..." My voice was but a croak.
"I'm going to go get help! Try to stay conscious!" He turned to leaved, but I gripped his hand.
"No... Don't go..."
He hesitated.
"Please... tell my mother..." I could barely get out the words. "Tell her..."
He leaned in, and I noticed that his face was streaked with tears. "Anne..." he murmured.
"Tell her... That I tried my best... I tried my best to save them all..."
I felt a sense of peace settle over me. The morning star had finally fallen, here in the very spot where he had committed his horrific deeds, to be consumed by the shadows of darkness, and as my eyes closed for the very last time, I felt my soul, finally at rest.

- End -

It took a lot of debating, convincing and tweaks to write this ending. We put a lot of effort into it, but it was extremely satisfying to see it all come together in the end. ~

Thank you for having been such a great audience. Any feedback is greatly appreciated ~

And remember, our blogs are on-going, so we will be continuing to post in the future. Visit The Devil's Advocate to bask in more of Ankur's talent. ~

The Ripple Effect - A Journey of Sin, Part Fourteen

Apologies for the late post. Please enjoy! ~
The odd-numbered parts, all the way up to Part Thirteen, can be found at The Devil's Advocate. ~

Part Fourteen

I awoke in a bed. Glancing around, I spotted white gloves, like the kind that doctors wore, laying in the corner of the room. The pain in my body had been replaced by a heavy pulsing in my head.
Amidst my confusion, I heard the sound of a high pitched cry emanating from a chair across the room. As I turned my throbbing head to the chair, I saw the Lucifer holding a bundle swathed in blankets, and I struggled to rise.
"It's a boy," the cold, clear voice rang out as I sat up on my bed. I held out my hands for the child, anticipation at seeing his face giving me strength, but he did not carry my boy to my side. Instead, he stood up and walk out of my room. With a Herculean effort, I scrambled after Lucifer, wanting to hold my baby to my breast, but he continued on, nary a pause in his long, purposeful strides.
"Please... please, just let me hold my child!" I begged, crawling after him. He paused and stood there, his back to me.
I finally reached him and leaned up to grasp his jacket. "Please..."
He turned around. In his arms, I saw a tiny bundle which was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. An angelic face peeked out back at me. My eyes alight with wonder, I held out a hand, wanting to touch my baby's cheek. He smiled at me, his tiny hands clutched into fists.
Suddenly, a sharp boot kicked me in the side. Gasping, I fell to the floor, my head hitting the wall and blood spurting from my newly cut lip. I cried out in pain, and my baby began howling. I felt a maternal instinct to comfort him, to hold him close and to soothe him, but I saw that Lucifer had turned around again and was continuing his stride towards the front door.
"Lucifer!"
The word escaped from my mouth. He stopped again and turned around, training his cold gaze on me. At that moment, I knew in my heart that this monster was taking my infant away from me. Fear gripped my soul, not for myself, but for that tiny figure still crying in Lucifer's arms. Then, without another look back at me, Lucifer left, locking the door behind him.
I ran to it, pounding with all my force at the door, screaming for him to come back, to stop. But all I heard was the sound of rain hitting the roof, and his boots as they crunched on the gravel, carrying away what I loved most.

There was a dull ache where my heart had once been. I felt lifeless. If Lucifer's actions before had seemed terrible, they were absolutely devilish now. He told me later, emotionless, that he had sold our child. I had long since cried myself out, though it hadn't helped to reduce my pain in the slightest.
The time had come for us to return to the Rothschilds' manor. The carriage ride back was utterly silent, with Lucifer sleeping while I looked outside the window, finding no more joy in the beauty of the nature that surrounded me.
We entered the town in late afternoon. The streets were crowded with people: men in top hats busily heading to important places, children running around, and women bustling about to purchase goods.
A commotion drew my attention. I saw a woman wearing dirty rags, her face streaked with tears, holding a bundle in her arms. I knew that a baby was in there, and my heart gripped at the recollection of a similar bundle which had belonged to myself.
Two guards with spears were confronting the woman, shouting at her and gesturing menacingly with their arms. The woman refused to let go of her baby, shielding it instead with her body. The guards advanced, and I reached out a hand, instinctively wanting to help the poor woman. She stood her ground, her eyes blazing with anger and defiance. The guards took no heed, however, for one of them wrenched the child from her. She screamed, and even through the carriage, I heard the agony I knew so well in that sound. She lunged forward, hitting the guard with her fists. Then, as if in slow motion, I saw the other guard raise his spear, and before I could even call out a warning, he plunged it into her defenseless breast.
Blood gushed everywhere. People screamed. I didn't realize it, but I was screaming as well. I wanted to jump out the carriage and help her, but suddenly I felt cold hands gripping my waist. Lucifer's lips were moving, but I couldn't here anything he was saying. That terrible scene was still vivid in my mind.

Don't forget to check out Part Fifteen tomorrow at The Devil's Advocate. We are beginning the end. ~

The Ripple Effect - A Journey of Sin, Part Twelve

And here's part twelve, up for your scrutiny. Parts One, Three, Five, Seven, Nine and Eleven can be found at The Devil's Advocate. ~

Part Twelve

I awoke in my room with a damp towel over my head. Lucifer was sitting next me, dozing. He stirred as I attempted to get up.
"Don't move."
I immediately froze at the command. He rose and made his way to my bedside, leaning in close to me and gripping my shoulders as I tried to shy away.
"We have a problem." His voice rang out, clear and cold in the small chamber. "You are carrying my heir, and this simply will not do."
Fear gripped my throat as I suddenly remembered my mother, a lifetime ago, telling me about her experience when I was inside the womb, and my heart stopped. I realized with despair that the signs were all exactly the same, and that all my efforts to hide my shame had been in vain, for the world would soon know of my humiliation, and there was no way for me to stop it from happening.
“This problem must be solved immediately," he continued. "It cannot affect my prospects for the future, and as such, we are departing at once for my cottage in the countryside.”
I was stunned. “But... but Young Master Lucifer, your family... I am expected to serve them! How can I perform my daily duties from the countryside?”
“Your duties will be, firstly and foremostly, to me. Nobody - absolutely nobody! - can know of this transgression. I have been groomed for leadership since my birth. How am I to become head of the Rothschilds if news of you becomes common knowledge? No, no, that simply won’t do," he said, pacing the room like a caged lion. "I have dealt with my family already, and they believe that you will be my maid for the next six months while I retire for the summer to my new cottage estate in the countryside, miles away from this gossip-filled town.”
I knew I had no choice but to accompany Lucifer, if only to keep myself hidden from the world as well.
That very night, Lucifer ushered me into his carriage while Lady Rothschild waved goodbye to her son, thinking him still to be the same innocent morning star she saw in her dreams. If only she knew the truth... The truth about his monstrous nature which he hid so well from them all...
As the door of the carriage closed, I looked back one last time at the manor. This place had witnessed so much of my pain, my joy and my despair, that I didn't know whether to feel sad or relieved to be leaving it. Then, I caught sight of the stable boy, staring at me with an unreadable look in his eyes as his figure became smaller and smaller. My heart caught, and I wanted to run out of the rolling carriage to fall into his arms. Instead, I turned around, resigning myself to the journey into the unknown with the monster who had caused my misfortune.

Part Thirteen will be up tomorrow at The Devil's Advocate. ~