Picture Perfect Post: Shoes

"I want to be just as tall as you."
"One day, you will be. Then you'll regret ever wishing you would grow up."
"Why?"
"With each passing year, I see you growing taller, and with each inch, you lose some of your innocence and carefreeness. I want you to stay the way you are, or the way you were."
"But with each passing year, I see myself growing taller, and with each inch, I gain some wisdom and experience. I want to continue growing, and continue experiencing new aspects of life."
"Even the darker sides?"
"Of course. Would I really be living if I didn't?"
"Would a harsh life even be worth living?"
"Would living a blindly joyful life be worth living?"
"Then you'd rather suffer than smile?"
"Of course not. But it's in living through the suffering and overcoming it that I'll smile."
"Time only will tell, but I have faith that your flame will never flicker out."
"It'll stay alight to guide your way out of the dark."

Credit given where credit is due to AC for sending me this sweet picture.

Comfort Zone

I found this little post today that's been lying around in my Draft box since January just waiting to be matured, and so I have taken the precious time needed to add on my final touches. Please read and enjoy. ~

It's so strange. Why is it that when so much is the same, it's the differences that stand out? ~ Perhaps a concept similar to edge enhancement? The brighter the white, the darker the black? ~

Now, these ramblings might not yet make sense, but let me link it to a more relatable topic: the difference between cultures. ~ I'd describe it as a feeling. ~ For example, I feel Asian. When I talk to other Asians, I know approximately what answers and reactions to expect to the questions I ask them and news and tell them. And I'm usually right in my predictions, because the other Asians know what it's I'm expecting. ~ Why does this happen? ~ Well, it's essentially because a conversation is an agreement, an exchange of knowledge and opinions, that is held together by an unspoken contract to not exceed the boundaries of what one is expected to conform to. ~

Say I decide to try talking to a Caucasian person in the exact same way I'd talk to an Asian. ~ It just wouldn't be the same. ~ Not that any one of us is wrong. ~ It's just that we're playing by different rules. ~ Imagine playing Tic-Tac-Toe with a deck of cards. ~ The other person doesn't know what you're expecting; the whole vibe of the conversation would be off. ~ The social contract has changed shape and form, and therefore the conversation itself has to change. ~ And so over time, you develop a complex for speaking to people of other races that differs greatly from the tone that you would use when speaking to a person of the same race as yourself. ~

In the end, control is what it really comes down to. ~ We always want to know what others will say in response or at least their attitude on the topic. ~ When you're thrown out of your comfort zone, you feel like you're on the defensive. ~ As Dr. Sheldon Cooper (TBBT, ofc) so poignantly put it: "It's called the comfort zone for a reason." ~ Because interacting with people from other races is initially challenging, many choose never to conform, sticking to their own comfort group. ~ This is how cliques form. ~

I'm definitely not saying there aren't people who are as comfortable with Asian people as they are with Caucasian or Black people. ~ But it's an acquired skill developed over time and with practice. Subtly but surely, each time you interact with someone, you tweak your speaking style with them a bit. ~ And that's how it's done: little by little. Step by step. ~

NB: This post is not meant to racist in any way or form. It simply expresses my honest opinion, one that is completely harmless. ~ In no way do I believe that any race is superior. Simply, each marches to the beat of its own unique drum. ~

Opinions

This post is intriguing in that it is entirely comprised of a conversation. The dialogue occurred between me and a new friend of mine, BS (yes, interesting initials, I agree), quite late at night, as the best discussions usually happen during evenings.
Be warned that there will be extended metaphorical allusions to food, as well as interesting insights of two very different yet also very similar individuals. Though the conversation originally started out in an almost interview-like style, it slowly progressed into a more casual dialogue. The black writing is mine, whereas the green denotes BS's.

[...]
I don’t usually have goals.
Why do you not set goals for yourself?
It gives me more freedom, and I feel like I have less obligations. [It] reduces my stress.
Don’t you feel less of a sense of accomplishment? When I realize I’ve accomplished a task or a goal, it's one of the best feelings in the world.
Well, not having goals doesn't always mean that nothing is accomplished. Goals don’t do that for you — they just make you feel guilty that you haven’t gotten them done.
But you might not realize that you've accomplished as much as you really have if you didn't set a goal for yourself in the first place. And subconsciously, I think goals are always on my mind, urging me on in a good way. Without them, I feel like I’m a bit loss, even though I do feel less constrained.
Well, I think that goals make you too focused on the future. [Personally,] I think enjoying what you’re doing right now is a better way to experience life, because once you reach a goal, you're either at a loss for a direction to go further, or you’re dissatisfied again and [feel a need to] seek a Utopian future [once again]. It's just never ending, and it's difficult to ever find satisfaction in life.
True. Once we have something, it’s no longer valuable to us. We're always looking forward to things. Furthermore, to add to your comment: it’s because once we find satisfaction, we're no longer satisfied. And that's why we have goals: to have something to look forward to.
[...] But I feel like [that's] a false sense of hope, because most of the time we'll be disappointed when we reach our goals. It's almost like deceiving yourself, although I have to admit it does allow you to endure more pain at the present time, since you're alluring yourself with a future award. But deep inside, you know that it's not going to be as great as you make yourself believe it too be, and the reward is only something that makes you keep going, but almost to nowhere. [In my mind,] it gives me a picture of a dog following his master who is holding a piece of bone tied to a string and driving away. The master first waits for the dog, and when he's about to catch up, the master drives away, then waits again. [When] the dog approaches the bone [once more], it [again] escapes him. Goals create a false sense of destination and completeness, which never really exist in life.
So what's your approach if goals don’t satisfy us?
[I] think living in the moment and being flexible to your current situation is much better. Just try to make the most of every moment you live, because you don’t know what [will] happen next. Instead of waiting for a future date to live your life, do it now.
How? I understand what you’re saying, yet I’m wondering how you do it.
Don’t deprive yourself because you say you're saving everything for later.
That's actually something very characteristic of me. For example, when I have lots of different types of food to choose from on my plate, I always eat the stuff I dislike the most first and save the treats for last.
For me, I always eat the thing I enjoy the most first, because if I eat the least favourite things first, the things I enjoy might get cold, or feel unappetizing by the time I get to [them]. In addition, even better [tidbits] may arrive during the meal, so if i start on the things I enjoy, I get the good, then the better, instead of the bad, then the better, leaving the good behind. Do you know what I mean?
I do. For me, I realize I don’t actually enjoy the treats I leave for myself. Strangely, it's more of a sensation of enjoying deprivation, which is very, very bizarre. Rather, it's a sense of accomplishment. Maybe I’m thinking too deep into this, but it basically boils down to the journey is better than the goal!
I can sort of relate to what you just mentioned. Although I prefer to go through the more enjoyable experiences first without enduring some pain, the pleasure isn't as pleasurable as it would be. There’s a need [for] contrast. The pain acts as something that amplifies the pleasure when it arrives.
Exactly. But in your case, if you experience joy first, doesn’t the pain feel worse? Whereas, if you go through pain first, joy seems brighter?
That's true, but my perspective is that what's pleasurable now might not be pleasurable in the future. [Therefore] you should enjoy it now, before it escapes you. And if pain isn’t mandatory, [then] there’s no need to choose it.
However if you never choose pain, it'll creep up on you when you least expect it and be worse then.
Well, the future is unforeseeable in my opinion, which is why I prefer to get the best of the moment. If pain comes, it comes. But if it's possible to choose pleasure right now, why not choose it?
I suppose. Your view of life is oh-so-tempting, but I don’t think I can give mine up. It's internal. Deep down, I’m still a pessimist at heart. I accept that there are hardships, so I’ll deal with them first, and then maybe occasionally remember the good.
But the hardships might never end. Just when you finish the food you don’t like and begin on what you do [like], more undesirable food may arrive and the good food may have gone bad as well. Why not grab the opportunity when you have the chance?
Then are you the type of person who makes on-the-spot decisions?
Yes, but I do think about the future consequences. [If I had to choose] between receiving something good now or [in] the future, I [would] choose now. But if that choice entails ruining my [entire] future [in an] irreconcilable [way], then I would choose [receiving the good in] the future.
You stay within reason, then. Still logical.
Yes, [an] utilitarian with the future in consideration. The smart utilitarian?
[...]

Small note: I decided to boycott the use of tildes (~) in this post, as I felt that this already very lengthy conversation should not be further clustered with my usual decorations.

A Little Fantasy in the Air

A little foreword:

Good day there. I've been meaning to write for quite awhile now, but many things have gotten in the way. Today I've finally had some time to come visit my cozy corner. As I browsed back to the little blurbs I'd written in December, during that period when writer's block plagued me, I found this little fantasy story I'd written on a whim, the 20th of December. ~ I'd meant to go all out and write a myth, but, sadly, the WB wasn't very permitting. ~ And so I came up with what is presented below. ~ I laughed as I read it over, yet strangely, I found that I like it. ~ A friend of mine, AB, has also read it and encouraged me to share this, and so I have. ~ My hope is that when reading it, you will, for that one brief moment, dream of fantastical creatures and feel a small thrill course through you. ~

Another quick note before you delve in:

I will soon (hopefully very soon) be writing a joined post with the Red Star. Please look forward to the intriguing post we will deliver! ~

Every year, on the day of the summer solstice, the mystical creatures of the Netherworld gather at the gate to Our World and peer in. Some of the more curious and daring sprites manage to slip through the cracks in the massive oak door, while the very bored Shape Shifters risk disintegration by becoming zephyrs to dance through the edges of the door. The larger creatures, both ferocious werewolves and lovely phoenixes alike, simply gaze through the Impenetrable Glass with longing eyes. The mighty ogres solemnly bow their heads in memory of the Days of Old, when they were free to roam the cliffs of Our World. The pure white unicorns and the wise centaurs toss their manes, feeling the need to run freely among human children as they used to. The dragons, dusty with age, gaze malevolently out at the rest, lusting for the gold just beyond their grasp. ~

They are feeling the Call. The longest day has a particular attraction, and this year in particular, unrest is stirring among the ranks. ~

Meanwhile, in Our World, everyone - the greedy businessmen, the young children, the mothers and fathers, the preppy teenagers, the hunters in the North, the famous singers, the smart techies - all are feeling uneasy. A Black Cloud is settling, and everyone is feeling a foreboding danger looming over Our World. ~ The Barrier is breaking. ~

Memory

"As far as I can remember..." ~

"Way back then..." ~

"Remember when...?" ~

All very typical phrases used today. ~ We live in the past as much as the present, and sometimes even more so. ~ Do you ever think back to when you were younger and smile at your own innocent naivety? ~ Or do you ever yearn to be "back in the day," when things were simpler, clearer, easier? ~ I certainly do. It's as if time if only bogging me down, turning its endless wheel over and over until life becomes a dreaded monotony. ~

Yes, yes, there is a word for this symptom: boredom. ~ A luxury when one is busy, true, but a curse when it descends like an evil cloud of doom. ~

But really... What makes us such easy prey for the past? ~ Why does it have such a powerful grip on all of us? ~

I believe the answer might lie in the future. ~ (Gosh, prophetic much?) ~ In essence, the present is the future of the past. ~ We often do not realize that the bright new future we were so looking forward to when we were younger is happening... right now. ~ All that planning, all those years when we thought, "Everything will be better in the future!" ~ That's today. This moment. Right now. ~ And yet we do not have that feeling of awe anymore. ~ Now that we are older, "wiser" and the future versions of our past selves, we once again have a new future to look forward to. ~ Whether it be tomorrow, next week, or in five years' time, we always think that there will be something better waiting for us. ~ And while this is true to some extent, we must remember that we ourselves are the ones that will determine our future. ~ Think of where you are right now. ~ How did you get here? ~ The answer is simple: By what you did, what happened to you and how you responded, by your past. ~ Now think to the future. ~ Where do you want to be? ~ Are you headed the right way to get there? ~

Personally, it's hard to tell. ~ After all, how many of us are psychics? ~ Not me, that's for sure. ~ So the answer is yet again to simply plow on. ~ But does that not defeat the whole purpose of "constructing your own future?" ~ Oh dear, this appears to be a vicious cycle. ~ Now, how to break it? ~

I believe that a plan is in order. ~ Have not many countries followed successful Five Year Plans? ~ Look at the disastrous American economy. ~ Wouldn't a Plan have maybe prevented or at least alleviated the damage done? ~ If you have a goal, and a way to reach it, and do not veer from your path, then naturally your chances of reaching that goal increase. ~ Realistic, carefully thought-out and, this being very crucial, flexible Plans are the true route to success. ~

Why flexible? ~ Well, think back to the failed Schlieffen plan. ~ It was too precise, too dependant on a smooth carry-out. ~ Ultimately, it failed because of this. ~ Nothing ever goes exactly the way we believe or hope it will, so why force it? ~ Leave wiggle room, but still make a detailed plan. ~ Balance, in the end, is key. ~

Special thanks to AB for tolerating my writer's block self, and the extensive conversation that ensued which has helped to improve this post. ~ I have great friends, truly. ~

Betrayal

Betrayal is a mockery of trust. ~ It takes up the feeling of loyalty, which is so hard to come by in this God-forsaken world, and just tears it up, stomps all over it. ~

Betrayal is not just hurting someone. It's hurting someone you know, someone who loves you and whom you trusted. ~

Betrayal is a cold-hearted beast with the face of an angel. It creeps up on you when you least expect it, and then, when it's too late, you know you're a goner. ~ You've been hurt by someone on the inside. ~

Taking advantage of a stranger is one thing. It'd be human - after all, we're all still specimens of Darwinism, i.e. survival of the fittest. ~

But when you betray someone - that's just inhuman. Breaking previously forged bonds, shaming respect and innocence, shredding integrity. ~ No wonder betrayal was a crime worthy of hanging back in the day. ~ That feeling of being stabbed in the back by a loved one leaves bitter hate in one's soul. ~ The sweeter the love, the darker the hate. ~

Betrayal cannot be overlooked lightly. ~ Forgiveness is so much harder to bear than hate. Why not nurture the need for revenge, that all-consuming yet oh-so-satisfying hellish flame within every human soul? ~

For all of us are just one betrayal away from the dark side. ~ Betrayal is the Sarajevo assassination of our otherwise peaceful lives, the spark that can set off a World War of catastrophic consequences. ~

Oh, woe. ~

And that is why it hurts to love. When you fall for someone, betrayal will undoubtedly be starring in the near future. ~ We humans are ruled by our emotions, and love is as dangerous as hate, for love is but a bittersweet prologue to betrayal. ~ It sets a pastoral scene for the brewing storm, the twister ready to engulf your heart at any minute. ~

So I shall guard my heart. ~ Love with caution, or not at all. ~

Blurb of Joy

School has been extremely stressful lately. ~ What with Christmas break approaching, teachers are all in a hurry to get marks in. That haste shows up on our faces as deep, dark pockets under our eyes. ~

So amid all this stress, I try to look on the small, happy details of life. ~ Most unlike my pessimistic nature, but then, desperate times call for desperate measures. ~ (Realpolitik.) ~

First of all, I've managed to inspire two people to start their own blogs. ~ This is one of the best feelings a writer can have. ~ These two brilliant people have writing styles quite different from mine, another bonus. ~ They're creating a little niche for themselves in the digital world. ~ As much as I sound like a mother hen writing this, this makes me so proud! ~ I shall be co-writing posts with them in the near future, something for both you and me to look forward to! ~

Also, December means Christmas. ~ Truly the most wonderful time of the year. ~ I celebrate by listening to carols. ~ I've discovered a particularly touching one - "The Cat Carol," the unlikely yet heart-warming story of a Christmas miracle. ~ As well, I enjoy listening to the saucy "Santa Baby," which always brings a smile to my face. ~ And of course, the classics, including, but definitely not limited to, "Jingle Bell Rock," "Winter Wonderland," and "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree."

Ah, time to get back to work. ~ Look out for my next post, which will be coming sometime very soon! ~ (A little marketing never did anyone any harm, right?)