Opinions

This post is intriguing in that it is entirely comprised of a conversation. The dialogue occurred between me and a new friend of mine, BS (yes, interesting initials, I agree), quite late at night, as the best discussions usually happen during evenings.
Be warned that there will be extended metaphorical allusions to food, as well as interesting insights of two very different yet also very similar individuals. Though the conversation originally started out in an almost interview-like style, it slowly progressed into a more casual dialogue. The black writing is mine, whereas the green denotes BS's.

[...]
I don’t usually have goals.
Why do you not set goals for yourself?
It gives me more freedom, and I feel like I have less obligations. [It] reduces my stress.
Don’t you feel less of a sense of accomplishment? When I realize I’ve accomplished a task or a goal, it's one of the best feelings in the world.
Well, not having goals doesn't always mean that nothing is accomplished. Goals don’t do that for you — they just make you feel guilty that you haven’t gotten them done.
But you might not realize that you've accomplished as much as you really have if you didn't set a goal for yourself in the first place. And subconsciously, I think goals are always on my mind, urging me on in a good way. Without them, I feel like I’m a bit loss, even though I do feel less constrained.
Well, I think that goals make you too focused on the future. [Personally,] I think enjoying what you’re doing right now is a better way to experience life, because once you reach a goal, you're either at a loss for a direction to go further, or you’re dissatisfied again and [feel a need to] seek a Utopian future [once again]. It's just never ending, and it's difficult to ever find satisfaction in life.
True. Once we have something, it’s no longer valuable to us. We're always looking forward to things. Furthermore, to add to your comment: it’s because once we find satisfaction, we're no longer satisfied. And that's why we have goals: to have something to look forward to.
[...] But I feel like [that's] a false sense of hope, because most of the time we'll be disappointed when we reach our goals. It's almost like deceiving yourself, although I have to admit it does allow you to endure more pain at the present time, since you're alluring yourself with a future award. But deep inside, you know that it's not going to be as great as you make yourself believe it too be, and the reward is only something that makes you keep going, but almost to nowhere. [In my mind,] it gives me a picture of a dog following his master who is holding a piece of bone tied to a string and driving away. The master first waits for the dog, and when he's about to catch up, the master drives away, then waits again. [When] the dog approaches the bone [once more], it [again] escapes him. Goals create a false sense of destination and completeness, which never really exist in life.
So what's your approach if goals don’t satisfy us?
[I] think living in the moment and being flexible to your current situation is much better. Just try to make the most of every moment you live, because you don’t know what [will] happen next. Instead of waiting for a future date to live your life, do it now.
How? I understand what you’re saying, yet I’m wondering how you do it.
Don’t deprive yourself because you say you're saving everything for later.
That's actually something very characteristic of me. For example, when I have lots of different types of food to choose from on my plate, I always eat the stuff I dislike the most first and save the treats for last.
For me, I always eat the thing I enjoy the most first, because if I eat the least favourite things first, the things I enjoy might get cold, or feel unappetizing by the time I get to [them]. In addition, even better [tidbits] may arrive during the meal, so if i start on the things I enjoy, I get the good, then the better, instead of the bad, then the better, leaving the good behind. Do you know what I mean?
I do. For me, I realize I don’t actually enjoy the treats I leave for myself. Strangely, it's more of a sensation of enjoying deprivation, which is very, very bizarre. Rather, it's a sense of accomplishment. Maybe I’m thinking too deep into this, but it basically boils down to the journey is better than the goal!
I can sort of relate to what you just mentioned. Although I prefer to go through the more enjoyable experiences first without enduring some pain, the pleasure isn't as pleasurable as it would be. There’s a need [for] contrast. The pain acts as something that amplifies the pleasure when it arrives.
Exactly. But in your case, if you experience joy first, doesn’t the pain feel worse? Whereas, if you go through pain first, joy seems brighter?
That's true, but my perspective is that what's pleasurable now might not be pleasurable in the future. [Therefore] you should enjoy it now, before it escapes you. And if pain isn’t mandatory, [then] there’s no need to choose it.
However if you never choose pain, it'll creep up on you when you least expect it and be worse then.
Well, the future is unforeseeable in my opinion, which is why I prefer to get the best of the moment. If pain comes, it comes. But if it's possible to choose pleasure right now, why not choose it?
I suppose. Your view of life is oh-so-tempting, but I don’t think I can give mine up. It's internal. Deep down, I’m still a pessimist at heart. I accept that there are hardships, so I’ll deal with them first, and then maybe occasionally remember the good.
But the hardships might never end. Just when you finish the food you don’t like and begin on what you do [like], more undesirable food may arrive and the good food may have gone bad as well. Why not grab the opportunity when you have the chance?
Then are you the type of person who makes on-the-spot decisions?
Yes, but I do think about the future consequences. [If I had to choose] between receiving something good now or [in] the future, I [would] choose now. But if that choice entails ruining my [entire] future [in an] irreconcilable [way], then I would choose [receiving the good in] the future.
You stay within reason, then. Still logical.
Yes, [an] utilitarian with the future in consideration. The smart utilitarian?
[...]

Small note: I decided to boycott the use of tildes (~) in this post, as I felt that this already very lengthy conversation should not be further clustered with my usual decorations.

A Little Fantasy in the Air

A little foreword:

Good day there. I've been meaning to write for quite awhile now, but many things have gotten in the way. Today I've finally had some time to come visit my cozy corner. As I browsed back to the little blurbs I'd written in December, during that period when writer's block plagued me, I found this little fantasy story I'd written on a whim, the 20th of December. ~ I'd meant to go all out and write a myth, but, sadly, the WB wasn't very permitting. ~ And so I came up with what is presented below. ~ I laughed as I read it over, yet strangely, I found that I like it. ~ A friend of mine, AB, has also read it and encouraged me to share this, and so I have. ~ My hope is that when reading it, you will, for that one brief moment, dream of fantastical creatures and feel a small thrill course through you. ~

Another quick note before you delve in:

I will soon (hopefully very soon) be writing a joined post with the Red Star. Please look forward to the intriguing post we will deliver! ~

Every year, on the day of the summer solstice, the mystical creatures of the Netherworld gather at the gate to Our World and peer in. Some of the more curious and daring sprites manage to slip through the cracks in the massive oak door, while the very bored Shape Shifters risk disintegration by becoming zephyrs to dance through the edges of the door. The larger creatures, both ferocious werewolves and lovely phoenixes alike, simply gaze through the Impenetrable Glass with longing eyes. The mighty ogres solemnly bow their heads in memory of the Days of Old, when they were free to roam the cliffs of Our World. The pure white unicorns and the wise centaurs toss their manes, feeling the need to run freely among human children as they used to. The dragons, dusty with age, gaze malevolently out at the rest, lusting for the gold just beyond their grasp. ~

They are feeling the Call. The longest day has a particular attraction, and this year in particular, unrest is stirring among the ranks. ~

Meanwhile, in Our World, everyone - the greedy businessmen, the young children, the mothers and fathers, the preppy teenagers, the hunters in the North, the famous singers, the smart techies - all are feeling uneasy. A Black Cloud is settling, and everyone is feeling a foreboding danger looming over Our World. ~ The Barrier is breaking. ~

Memory

"As far as I can remember..." ~

"Way back then..." ~

"Remember when...?" ~

All very typical phrases used today. ~ We live in the past as much as the present, and sometimes even more so. ~ Do you ever think back to when you were younger and smile at your own innocent naivety? ~ Or do you ever yearn to be "back in the day," when things were simpler, clearer, easier? ~ I certainly do. It's as if time if only bogging me down, turning its endless wheel over and over until life becomes a dreaded monotony. ~

Yes, yes, there is a word for this symptom: boredom. ~ A luxury when one is busy, true, but a curse when it descends like an evil cloud of doom. ~

But really... What makes us such easy prey for the past? ~ Why does it have such a powerful grip on all of us? ~

I believe the answer might lie in the future. ~ (Gosh, prophetic much?) ~ In essence, the present is the future of the past. ~ We often do not realize that the bright new future we were so looking forward to when we were younger is happening... right now. ~ All that planning, all those years when we thought, "Everything will be better in the future!" ~ That's today. This moment. Right now. ~ And yet we do not have that feeling of awe anymore. ~ Now that we are older, "wiser" and the future versions of our past selves, we once again have a new future to look forward to. ~ Whether it be tomorrow, next week, or in five years' time, we always think that there will be something better waiting for us. ~ And while this is true to some extent, we must remember that we ourselves are the ones that will determine our future. ~ Think of where you are right now. ~ How did you get here? ~ The answer is simple: By what you did, what happened to you and how you responded, by your past. ~ Now think to the future. ~ Where do you want to be? ~ Are you headed the right way to get there? ~

Personally, it's hard to tell. ~ After all, how many of us are psychics? ~ Not me, that's for sure. ~ So the answer is yet again to simply plow on. ~ But does that not defeat the whole purpose of "constructing your own future?" ~ Oh dear, this appears to be a vicious cycle. ~ Now, how to break it? ~

I believe that a plan is in order. ~ Have not many countries followed successful Five Year Plans? ~ Look at the disastrous American economy. ~ Wouldn't a Plan have maybe prevented or at least alleviated the damage done? ~ If you have a goal, and a way to reach it, and do not veer from your path, then naturally your chances of reaching that goal increase. ~ Realistic, carefully thought-out and, this being very crucial, flexible Plans are the true route to success. ~

Why flexible? ~ Well, think back to the failed Schlieffen plan. ~ It was too precise, too dependant on a smooth carry-out. ~ Ultimately, it failed because of this. ~ Nothing ever goes exactly the way we believe or hope it will, so why force it? ~ Leave wiggle room, but still make a detailed plan. ~ Balance, in the end, is key. ~

Special thanks to AB for tolerating my writer's block self, and the extensive conversation that ensued which has helped to improve this post. ~ I have great friends, truly. ~

Betrayal

Betrayal is a mockery of trust. ~ It takes up the feeling of loyalty, which is so hard to come by in this God-forsaken world, and just tears it up, stomps all over it. ~

Betrayal is not just hurting someone. It's hurting someone you know, someone who loves you and whom you trusted. ~

Betrayal is a cold-hearted beast with the face of an angel. It creeps up on you when you least expect it, and then, when it's too late, you know you're a goner. ~ You've been hurt by someone on the inside. ~

Taking advantage of a stranger is one thing. It'd be human - after all, we're all still specimens of Darwinism, i.e. survival of the fittest. ~

But when you betray someone - that's just inhuman. Breaking previously forged bonds, shaming respect and innocence, shredding integrity. ~ No wonder betrayal was a crime worthy of hanging back in the day. ~ That feeling of being stabbed in the back by a loved one leaves bitter hate in one's soul. ~ The sweeter the love, the darker the hate. ~

Betrayal cannot be overlooked lightly. ~ Forgiveness is so much harder to bear than hate. Why not nurture the need for revenge, that all-consuming yet oh-so-satisfying hellish flame within every human soul? ~

For all of us are just one betrayal away from the dark side. ~ Betrayal is the Sarajevo assassination of our otherwise peaceful lives, the spark that can set off a World War of catastrophic consequences. ~

Oh, woe. ~

And that is why it hurts to love. When you fall for someone, betrayal will undoubtedly be starring in the near future. ~ We humans are ruled by our emotions, and love is as dangerous as hate, for love is but a bittersweet prologue to betrayal. ~ It sets a pastoral scene for the brewing storm, the twister ready to engulf your heart at any minute. ~

So I shall guard my heart. ~ Love with caution, or not at all. ~

Blurb of Joy

School has been extremely stressful lately. ~ What with Christmas break approaching, teachers are all in a hurry to get marks in. That haste shows up on our faces as deep, dark pockets under our eyes. ~

So amid all this stress, I try to look on the small, happy details of life. ~ Most unlike my pessimistic nature, but then, desperate times call for desperate measures. ~ (Realpolitik.) ~

First of all, I've managed to inspire two people to start their own blogs. ~ This is one of the best feelings a writer can have. ~ These two brilliant people have writing styles quite different from mine, another bonus. ~ They're creating a little niche for themselves in the digital world. ~ As much as I sound like a mother hen writing this, this makes me so proud! ~ I shall be co-writing posts with them in the near future, something for both you and me to look forward to! ~

Also, December means Christmas. ~ Truly the most wonderful time of the year. ~ I celebrate by listening to carols. ~ I've discovered a particularly touching one - "The Cat Carol," the unlikely yet heart-warming story of a Christmas miracle. ~ As well, I enjoy listening to the saucy "Santa Baby," which always brings a smile to my face. ~ And of course, the classics, including, but definitely not limited to, "Jingle Bell Rock," "Winter Wonderland," and "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree."

Ah, time to get back to work. ~ Look out for my next post, which will be coming sometime very soon! ~ (A little marketing never did anyone any harm, right?)

Thoughts on Marriage

After interviewing seven intelligently well-spoken young adults with the question "What are your thoughts on marriage?", I compiled their various results and present them here for scrutiny. ~

Some find marriage "redundant" and "overrated," while others stick with the orthodox "important" and "good." ~ Another affirms that entering marriage is like experiencing "a different world." ~ Still another states that marriage is "scary." ~ Obviously, opinions differ greatly. ~

One that particularly touched me was through a boy's direct statement: "Personally, I wouldn't want to spend my life alone. To my buddies, I say it's because I don't want to make my own sandwiches. Real reason? I think it would be pretty depressing coming home after work to an empty house..." ~

What a true point. ~ A house without laughter, without love, is just an empty shell. ~ Spending life alone is not a pleasing thought. ~

Then there's the more misogamic point of view: "I see no point for it. Women use it as a way of security. [Some people] just haven't been in a [steady] relationship. It gets too disgusting, like mishy-mushy, you know? Fades after two weeks." ~

Eek. ~ Another good point. ~ Hormones induce a feeling of love that seems to be genuine. However, once the honeymoon phase is over, reality sinks in and you might discover that your partner is not as perfect as he or she seemed to be. ~

Two of the boys I interviewed both treat marriage as a sacred rite: "I think when being in a marriage, I am responsible for both of the family members. When I commit to love someone, I should just love that [one] person." ~

As well: "Marriage is something meant to legally combine two individuals as one spiritually. The two people undergo an occasion that will mark their anniversary, their legacy, and the fact that they are bonded together with the promises they will have to swear in front of many." ~

Truth be told, I agree most with the two following people: "I think that couples don't need such a ritual, and many couples today are choosing to not marry. [Marriage] should be thought of as just a practice. [It should be] a choice made by the individual, not one that is forced upon the individual by society." ~

As well: "It makes more sense if [marriage didn't exist], since after that initial act, you are obligated to remain faithful. But if you loved that person to such an extent anyways, the ceremony isn't really needed." ~

To me, marriage is simply a legal act. ~ We have built it up to a true bond, something that will overcome all, that in itself will be the glue that holds a couple together. ~ But in our society, infidelity is more common than true love. ~ Sure, there are the happy old couples living together after all these years, but do we truly understand the difficulties of marriage? ~ Do we want to risk the pain that comes with marriage, when it would be so much simpler to deal with a break-up? ~ I'm not saying marriage is bad. ~ Only... is it good enough to carry through with? ~

In the end, one girl sums it up pretty well: "You're basically dedicating yourself to one person that you probably don't know completely. But I think that if you get a good marriage, it's going to be really worth it. So... I want a good guy." ~

Special thanks to you seven who so graciously accepted to be interviewed. ~ Seriously, all the conflicting emotions I had and still have over marriage were presented in your views. ~

Dihydrogen Monoxide

It's hot out. ~ Scalding, really. ~ Your tongue is parched to the extreme. A dull throbbing pain in your throat prevents you from swallowing. ~ You rush in to the cool air-conditioned house, but even that does not soothe your burning need. ~ In haste, you run to the sink and open the faucet. ~ A cool stream of liquid bursts forth. ~ Shivering with anticipation, you take a gulp. ~ Instant relief. ~
Sounds like a drug, doesn't it? ~ In truth, we undoubtedly are addicted to this precious, unique solvent. ~ Polar, small, high surface tension, high heat capacity... Its wondrous properties are endless. ~
Water. ~ *Cue heavenly angels singing.*
For once, perhaps, I am not exaggerating. ~ Really. ~ Water is indispensable. We use it to drink, to travel, to dissolve other substances, to clean, to wash, to calm, to play... When is water not important? ~ What makes Earth such a unique planet within the solar system and possibly even the entire universe is precisely its numerous large bodies of water. ~
Water has also taken on symbolic meaning in literature. ~ Rebirth, in the case of a fetus surrounded by the mother's amniotic fluid. ~ A pure quality, as in the cleansing and washing away of the old ways of life. ~ Rejuvenation, as in the fountain of youth. ~ Water is so mysterious, so beautiful, so tantalizing. ~ In Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow, in his usual devil-may-care way, says "my first and only love is the sea." ~ Indeed, I suspect many a sailor has fallen in love with this wild, untamable lady and been lured into her depths. ~ She is beautiful, true, but dangerous. ~
I've often gazed longingly yet with certain fear into deep water, wondering what it hid in its depths. ~ The strange underwater worlds has inspired so many myths and legends that it would be a shame to unveil its true self. ~ Yet science plows on. ~ Off topic here. ~
The miracle that is water, this transparent fluid that may become a source of worry due to the endless contamination we force upon it, should forever remain a priority in our minds, something to cherish and something to keep pure. ~ After all, when the pure is soiled, what hopes do we, the tainted human race, have of ridding ourselves of the dirt that we accumulate on our hands? ~